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Floodlights

by Anna Ash

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1.
You knew from the start that we weren’t using our hearts And I have to thank you for leaving early before we let it get too far I wouldn’t call that love There’s that space after desire where you have to be a lover or a liar And I’m so sorry did I offend you I thought you told me we were through I wouldn’t go that low What I overheard and what you didn’t say It’s what I told you
2.
Player 03:08
When you’ve been broken young you don’t fear anyone No one can do what’s been done and nobody wins your love I’m amazed you tried ‘Cause rich kids don’t seem to get it what it means to survive And I don’t think you get it who’s keeping you alive How long are you gonna play it like that how long before we all want our money back How long are you gonna say it’s not an act how long are you gonna last When you don’t remember why you’re leaving and when you don’t remember why you left When you don’t care about getting even there’s no glory going back I’d be amazed if you do So you’re scared to love your lover so you’re scared of what you know Well no doubt you can find another who won’t tell you what you need to be told Chorus
3.
Holding Out 03:12
What happens if I can’t quit you what happens if I don’t forgive you and I keep holding, holding, holding on What happens if I keep working these jobs that kill me these jobs that force me to barely, barely, barely hold on What happens if I get too old and I don’t have no money and I don’t have a love because I’m holding, holding, holding out All the love we leave and all that love you’re going to need from me What happens if we all get married will we forget or will we just not care that we don’t know, don’t know, don’t know what to hold onto Will you tell me if we’ve gone to far and will you tell me if I ruin your heart because I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know what we’re doing All that love we leave and all that love you’re going to need from me All that love we choose to lose and all that love I’m going to leave in you
4.
Baby see how I’ve been living Velvet curtains on the windows too Keep the bright and unforgiving Light from shining through Baby I remember all the things we did When we slept together And the blue behind your eyelids Baby, sweet baby Traced your scent through the gloom 'Til I found these purple flowers I was spent I was soon smelling you for hours Lavender, lotus blossoms too Water the dirt flowers last for you Baby, sweet baby Tangerines and persimmons And sugarcane Grapes and honeydew melon Enough fit for a queen Lemon trees don't make a sound 'Til branches bend and fruit falls to the ground Baby, sweet baby Come to my world and witness The way things have changed 'Cause I finally did it baby I got out of La Grange Got in my Mercury and drove out west Pedal to the metal and my luck to the test Baby, sweet baby I been tryin' to enjoy all the fruits of my labor I been cryin' for you boy but truth is my savior Baby sweet baby if it's all the same Take the glory any day over the fame Baby, sweet baby
5.
Burning Up 03:02
I’ve been left plenty of times but I still call that love mine And you can prove me wrong all night holding on won’t make it right You’re burning up my love Time can’t be fuel for fire if I don’t fight does it make me a liar Even if I leave tonight you’ll still be the love of my life Chorus
6.
I want to tell you how it is now tell you how it’s gonna be Wish I could tell you that it works out it works out with you and me But you won’t let me love you let me love you how I want to ‘Cause I’m not terrified of heartbreak and I’m not terrified to lose I’m only frightened of that blank stare when it’s coming straight from you And I hope you’re happier without me if it was me all along I was only trying to break in but you let it break you down. Chorus Oooh if I knew If I knew what you would do what you would do to my heart
7.
Steel Bone 02:29
How the hell did you get in here who let you into my heart Didn’t you know that it’s a steel bone no one ever gets that far All those years all we fear is each other Good god it’s darker than I will admit fighting flames with a fire that won’t quit I throw my hands up bite the bullet I learn to love and never show it All those years spent alone all that love you’ll never show Wake up honey I wanna wake up we better wake up
8.
How did your heart get so bad What kind of lover would do that Well you don’t need to please me But you shouldn’t need me To tell you why ‘Cause I can’t undo what she did to you And I don’t know what she put you through Please can’t you see I don’t need you to be Some kind of way out of here Some kind of reason not to disappear Some kind of holy cure for my fear Some kind of savior of the year How did we do this so wrong Who’s afraid of who and who’s been led on Fooling us to believe That we could ever be Chorus
9.
True Love 05:44
Who's been loving you lately Who's been calling you baby Do they hold you how you've always wanted to be held Do they look at you and know exactly how I felt Is it that true love Is it the kind that made you want to run Before the cruel world crushes you from above Before you learn your heart is strong enough Who's going to hold you tonight Who's going to put up a better fight Do they speak to you and say all the things you wish I would have said Do, tell me, do they want you as bad as I did
10.
Floodlights 02:44
I don’t have a reason I don’t feel the seasons I don’t have the feeling right to be fooling anyone tonight So baby lock your doors up baby shut your heart off baby just let this one go I’m gonna drive to the beach and sleep somewhere expensive alone I’ll be driving from the eastside driving through some floodlights driving like I always drive in all these old cars that start shaking at sixty-five why would I dare stay when you know my voice shakes when I lie Wish I could tell you what I’m needing tell you what I’m wanting tell you what I’ve never had but if you gave it all to me I wouldn’t want you nearly as bad No it’s not the end and no it’s not the start and no it’s not the time to cry It ain’t gonna kill you to sleep alone once in a while. And I don’t have a reason I can’t blame the seasons and damnit don’t tell me I didn’t try why would I dare stay when you know my voice shakes when I lie
11.

about

Recorded by
Michael Morris & George Zuccolotto at The Barn, Northfield, MN
Ben Tolliday in Los Angeles, CA
Dan Horne at Lone Palm Studio, Los Angeles, CA
Mixed by Dan Horne at Lone Palm Studio
Mastered by Devin Kerr at Good Hertz Studio, Pasadena, CA
All songs written by Anna Ash (BMI)
except for “Fruits of My Labor” by Lucinda Williams (BMI)
cover photo by Roch Armando
hotel drawing by Sam Strand

credits

released September 6, 2016

Anna Ash - vocals, guitar
Joe Dart - bass
Julian Allen - drums
James Cornelison - guitar
Brett Farkas - guitar, baritone guitar
Joey Dosik - vocals, guitar, organ, piano, wurlitzer
Theo Katzman - vocals, guitar
Mike G. - vocals
Dan Horne - pedal steel

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Anna Ash Los Angeles, California

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